Loneliness (Open)

Kohana walked in silence through the streets of Seireitei, her big blue eyes locked on the ground ahead of her. She was oblivious of the other people on the street, and likewise they evaded her. It was like she had an invisible box around her that was keeping anyone from getting near her. She let out a rare sigh as she continued forward, her sad eyes never leaving the ground. The loneliness was sometimes unbearable, especially when Tomowakana wasn't available.

Kohana reached her mind out and frowned when she found her Zanpakuto spirit sleeping. She didn't dare wake him up; she had learned the hard way that he did not like being interrupted from his beauty sleep. A slight grin appeared on her face at the thought. Tomowakana certainly needed a lot of beauty sleep, because he was currently very scary looking. But that didn't matter to her; he was like a father to Kohana, and she wouldn't have it any other way. Kohana became lost in her thoughts as she continued on in silence.

The lieutenant of the third division frowned as she watched the effect that the girl was having on people that were near her; no one was getting near her. Wonder why? the girl couldn't help but think to herself; she had a rare moment today. She had actually managed to finish the paperwork she had; it was quite boring, but she forced herself through it, and deciding that watching the girl wouldn't answer her question, she walked towards Kohana, coming from the direction the girl was heading.

The girl was unfamiliar to Emiko, so she could easily conclude that the girl wasn't in the third division; the spiritual pressure the girl had was not that big compared to Emiko, though some, like her, were able to hide their spiritual pressure or suppress it. Emiko noticed the girl also seemed lost in her thoughts and, deciding she didn't want the girl to walk into her today, Emiko decided to speak. "Hey, any reason why everyone is trying to avoid you?" the diminutive lieutenant asked of Kohana, her arms crossed as she waited for a reply from the girl, if she noticed the question at all.

Kohana was ripped from her thoughts as her head jerked up to look at Emiko. She stopped walking and stared at the 3rd division's lieutenant with a dumbstruck look on her face. Other shinigami never talked to her, unless she was being given orders or assignments. And she usually responded to that with a simple nod. Emiko, being a lieutenant, was a person of authority, but she had only asked her a simple question, and, to Kohana's horror, she had no idea how to answer it.

Stuck in a bit of trouble, are you? Tomowakana's deep voice entered Kohana's head, and she didn't even flinch. 'Yes Tomowakana, please help me!' she pleaded inside her head. She felt the spirit grin and shake his head. No, I think this will be a good experience for you; you need to learn how to properly communicate with others. Kohana was about to protest, but the spirit had already left her mind.

The panic was clearly played out in Kohana's eyes as she tried to think of something to say. She hadn't had a conversation with someone in so long, so she really didn't know what to say. "Um...I...I'm just not a very...social person..." Kohana said softly, a look of awkwardness and discomfort crossing her face as she shifted her balance nervously from one leg to the other.

Some people might find it strange that the third division's lieutenant would just walk up to someone and ask them why everyone was avoiding them; Emiko didn't, needless to say. Even if she was a lieutenant, and rather cold, she decided that she still had to be social, despite her position of authority. Wonder how my socializing will go when I become a captain the girl couldn't help but think to herself as she stared at the girl; she did indeed notice the girl's eyes, which seemed to scream she was nervous.

She appeared to be thinking, and Emiko stayed silent; now that Emiko had approached the girl, more people then before were avoiding the two, if only because they assumed the girl was in trouble, since she was conversing with a lieutenant. That can't be it though...I'm the lieutenant of the third division...I probably don't have jurisdiction over other divisions' members. Wait...or do I? Hm, I'll have to find this out[ she thought to herself.

The girl finally spoke to her, and she couldn't help but let out a small sigh at this. "Even if that's true, people wouldn't stray so far away from you to the point that it seems like there's an invisible box around you," Emiko decided to point out, doubt plain on her face as she shook her head. "No, there must be some other reason; you done something terrible lately?" Emiko decided to ask, not caring if that seemed private or personal.

Kohana's eyes widened and her face paled at Emiko's accusation. She most certainly did not want the lieutenant thinking that she was a troublemaker; that would only cause Kohana to attract more unwanted attention. She also did not want to be punished for something that she didn't do.

"N-no lieutenant...I've done nothing wrong. I just got done with some training..." Kohana said, her voice growing slightly more confident with each word. She spoke the truth; she had just finished some training with her shikai at the training grounds, and she was now just wandering the streets of Seireitei. She liked to wander when she wanted to do some thinking; the rhythm of her walking calmed her and allowed her to think clearly. She felt Tomowakana enter her mind again, and his presents allowed her to calm down a bit.

Emiko could tell that she was incorrect when she accused the girl of doing something; she didn't look the type to be doing anything such as that. From Emiko's point of view, the girl didn't look like she had a spine, so a sigh escaped her lips after Kohana finished speaking; she hated when she misjudged people like this.

"Alright, I believe you; you don't look the type to do anything like that anyways," Emiko said to the girl, hoping that would give her some much needed relief. "However, that itself is a problem as well; you don't want to look like you're somebody spineless who will just take things like this. You need to get bolder; have you tried doing that? It might help you stop that stuttering too." Emiko said to the woman, wondering if she still intimidated said woman; it was possible, since some people couldn't ignore the fact that the person they were talking to was a lieutenant.

Kohana indeed felt relieved when Emiko dispelled her accusation. She then listened to her speak, and couldn't help but wince as the word spineless was used to discribe her. 'Ouch...That's a shot to the confidence...' But deep down, she knew that Emiko was right. Kohana could face hollows without hesitation, but the thought of just speaking to other people caused her to freeze up with fear. It was pathetic.

"I guess I could try to be bolder...But..." Kohana started. She hesitated before she continued, "I don't really know how..." Kohana thought that she probably sounded like an idiot to Emiko. But it was true; Kohana usually just clammed up around other people, and it had been a very long time since she had been able to break from her shell, so she had forgotten how to properly communicate with others. 'I'm so pathetic...' Kohana thought, her shame-filled eyes wandering to the ground.

Emiko noticed the girl had winced a bit when she was called spineless, and Emiko had to admit to herself, it was a bit harsh. The girl hadn't done anything wrong, and Emiko forced herself to remember that; she didn't want to appear as if she were rude or anything. Sure, she could be cold at times, but being a jerk to people...that just wasn't on her agenda; especially being a jerk to a girl such as Kohana, who probably had no social skills whatsoever.

"You don't know how to be bold?" Emiko asked, a frown finding its way onto her face as she stared at the other female. "Well, for one thing, stop looking at the ground like that; that doesn't give anyone you're talking to the feeling that you're bold. In fact, it projects the opposite feeling; it gives them the feeling that you think you're pathetic. Do you really want people to think of you like that?" Emiko asked, then she realized she was being kind of harsh once more, and was a tad disappointed; it seemed that she would stay that way no matter what.

Kohana forced herself to look up and keep her eyes on Emiko. Her words stung, but everything she was saying was true. She was pretty pathetic; she often thought this about herself. She really had very little self confidence, and the reason that she avoided talking to people was because she was afraid of being judged. But even in doing that, she was still judged by people. Emiko, for example, had bluntly told Kohana that she was spineless and pathetic. If she just avoided people, this wouldn't happen and she'd go on with her normal, lonely existance.

Kohana... Tomowakana said in a rare serious tone, You are afraid; I can feel your fear. But remember, you used to fear me too. You can overcome this. Believe in yourself. Kohana bit her lip as the words ran through her head. He was right. She had overcome her fear of him, but it had taken a long time, and a lot of effort, and the reward seemed much better.

But was it? If she overcame her fear of judgement, then she would be able to commutincate normally with her peers, and she would most likely be way happier than she was right now. "No. I really don't want people to think I'm pathetic." Kohana said, shaking her head. Her eyes were now filled with determination, but still reflected some lingering doubts about herself.

Well, now Emiko could tell that the woman was, at the least, determined to not be thought of as pathetic, though Emiko could still plainly see doubt in the girl's eyes. "Good, it's at least a start," Emiko decided to say, wondering why it had taken a while for the girl to repsond; perhaps she had been talking to her zanpakutou spirit? If so, Emiko considered that good; if the zanpakutou spirit could get the girl to be a bit more confident, perhaps he could help her more in the long run with her social skills. How are we going to fix those doubts though...? Emiko thought to herself.

"You...still kind of have doubts about yourself though, don't you? You know, I can easily see it in your eyes. Maybe you could work on hiding your emotions? I think it would really help in something like, say, a battle," Emiko suggested to the girl, wondering how she would even be able to advise the girl on how to go about that; Emiko's ability to do such a thing came from what had happened when she had gotten her shikai.

"The problem with that is that I have no idea how to get you to be able to do that." Emiko admitted, allowing herself to shrug her shoulders; to be honest, she was hoping the girl's zanpakutou spirit had some idea of what the girl could do. After all, Emiko found that, often, zanpakutou spirits knew the owner of them better than anyone else in the entire world ever could.

Kohana nodded slowly as Emiko correctly guessed that she doubted herself. Her eyes began to wander back towards the ground, but Kohana caught herself and looked back up. That habit was going to be a hard one to break, but she would now be concious of it and try her hardest to fix it. She then raised an eyebrow as the lieutenant went on, saying that her eyes gave away her emotions. Kohana had no idea that she was so easy to read. That bothered her; she did not want everyone to know what she was feeling. Her emotions belonged to her and her alone.

Kohana felt Tomowakana grin as Emiko went on to say that she didn't have any ideas on how to cover her emotions. I'm sure I can think of something. Something that will require countless hours of training and hard work. he said with a violent tone to his voice. Kohana frowned slightly. She really didn't think that physical training would help in this situation, but her zanpakuto spirit would find some way to include violence. Tomowakana was a bloodthirsty zanpakuto and loved to fight, and he never let up even when he was training with her. She had ended up in the 4th many times after her training sessions in her inner world, because Tomowakana had a hard time controling himself and holding back once he began fighting.

"My zanpakuto...He said that he'll figure something out." Kohana said, nodding at Emiko. She wondered if she should warn the 4th that she would probably become a frequent visitor throughout the duration of this training...

Emiko was positive that the girl's zanpakutou spirit was giving some ideas to the girl now, considering the fact that she seemed to be listening to someone speak. Now that I think of it...you don't often advise me on anything. Why is that? Emiko thought to her own zanpakutou spirit; she would soon regret asking that question, since she often didn't like talking to the spirit. "It's because you're able to figure things out by yourself, of course!" the peppy voice responded to her; she resisted the urge to sigh, not wanting to show any outward signs that she was also conversing with her spirit.

If that's true, then I should have been able to think of something for this girl to be able to do, right? Emiko pointed out; her spirit went quiet at that. "You are such a negative person Emiko" the lieutenant heard a few minutes later; she had been told this quite a few times by the spirit, so she didn't have any reason to object to it. Yes yes, I know I am. What else is new? she responded, listening as Kohana explained that her zanpakutou spirit had come up with something. "Wait a minute, did you say he?" Emiko asked, a curious look on her face, which was odd for her; she was almost never curious about a thing, but she obviously was. "You do realize, of course, that most zanpakutou spirits have the same gender as their owner, right?" Emiko asked of the girl.

"Oh, and if you don't mind me asking, what is your zanpakutou spirit planning on doing?" Emiko asked of Kohana; it certainly wasn't anything conventional if Emiko couldn't think of it, so she was again curious, albeit about something different this time.

Kohana tilted her head slightly as the question about her and Tomowakana's gender difference was asked. She knew that what Emiko said was true, and this wasn't the first time Kohana had been questioned about it. Kohana has rarely spoke to anyone before now, but she did have to speak about her zanpakuto spirit when she was at the academy. The teachers had also been curious as to why Tomowakana wasn't female. Kohana really had no idea herself, and when she had asked the spirit about it, he just shrugged and said that he had no clue. It was a mystery to everyone.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I really have no idea why my zanpakuto spirit is male...And no one else seems to know either." Kohana said, shrugging slightly. She hesitated to answer her next question; Kohana didn't know how Emiko would react to Tomowakana's habit of solving everything with violence. "Ah, well...He seems to want to do some rigerous training until I either succeed in hiding my emotions, or fall unconsious; whichever comes first." she said. Kohana wasn't too worried herself; she had been wounded badly in her training sessions with Tomowakan before, but he would never mortally injure her. He did have self control, if only just a little of it.

Again, the girl seemed quite hesitant to answer her; Emiko had a feeling that Kohana was this way about everything. Certainly going to have to fix that...can't have a nervous wreck like her in one of the squads. Who knows what might happen if an emergency ever happened in the Soul Society and she was near the source of the emergency? Emiko thought to herself; it would likely be a disaster, if the girl was like this in strenuous situations as well, which was more than likely, since she seemed to be that way in non-combat situations too. Eventually though, Emiko was answered.

She doesn't know either than? Hm...interesting Emiko thought to herself; she didn't know of any other people that possessed a zanpakutou spirit opposite of their gender. Then again, she didn't know every single person in the Seireitei, just the other lieutenants, as well as the captains, so it was possible there were some in possession of spirits like that. "Wait, did you say something about falling unconscious? I'm not an expert, but I don't think that's a good way to train. After all, who knows what might happen while you're passed out? Also, how do you manage to get anywhere to be healed after passing out? Certainly you don't rely on the goodwill of others?" Emiko spoke up, wondering why she even cared enough to say this.

Kohana shrugged at Emiko's many questions. "Well, most of the time I'm not injured enough to be knocked out of my inner world, so Tomowakana takes care of me until I wake up. Any time that I have been knocked out of my inner world, I was always eventually found by someone and taken to the fourth." she said. Kohana trusted Tomowakana with her life, and even though he was ruthless during her training, he would never go as far as to permenantly injure her. The injuries she did sustain were usually easily healed with kido and she had never had to stay overnight at the fourth. It was probably strange to Emiko, but this really wasn't a big deal to Kohana.

OOC: The fourth was mentioned, MUST butt in! <3

IC: Altair Sanguine, the fourth's division's own lieutenant was silently patrolling along the seireitei, his hands in the pockets of the one part of the robe he did wear: the bottoms. Just above if not on the hem of his robe-bottoms was an overly large belt-like sash bearing the insignia's of lieutenant and fourth squad upon it, the colors of the insignia's being puce while the sash itself was black. The robe-bottom's details had the same color of puce defining them, and Altair wore black gloves with the bellflower of the fourth division upon his gloves, these being the puce hue as well.

He was continuing the patrol when he came across a section in the road where many shinigami were avoiding two individuals in particular. One he didn't recognize but she carried the air of authority befalling most lieutenants. the other he recognized as a girl he saw regularly sleeping within the fourth division's healing center. They hadn't actually had a chance to meet so he didn't know her name, but in either case, he approached the two through the parting wave of shinigami, offering a soft smile to them both, before regaining his usual cold and calm composure."How come no one invited me to the party?" With this he uttered a dry laugh, looking from the authoritic woman to the shy-looking girl.

"Really now..." Emiko commented, finding it a bit surprising that she would rely on the good will of others like that. If she trained within the Seireitei, then sure, Emiko expected people to act like that, but outside the Seireitei...not so much. She knew that Rukongai was a scum of villains who were rather unpredictable. Just as the lieutenant was going to speak again, she heard another person speak, and with a raised brow, she turned her attention to him. "Ah, hello lieutenant Sanguine. Out for a stroll?" Emiko decided to say to the man; even if he was a lieutenant, he was still in the fourth division, one of the weakest divisions in existence in her opinion. "To answer you, it's not much of a party since Kohana here is shy." Emiko informed him.

Kohana waited for Emiko to speak, but their conversation was interrupted as a third individual decided to join in. Kohana's initial reaction was to whip her eyes to the ground like she always did when approached by others. She then remembered that she was trying to break this habit, so she brought her eyes back up to look at Altair's face. She really didn't know what to say, so she stayed silent and looked back at Emiko shyly.

OOC: Ew, it's short, sorry D:

"Ah hah..I see. Maybe my..er hmm.(cough) 'Methods' could help her out?" Altair let his pale lips come into the half-smile most smug people would use to show a point. He could only grin at this and looked from either girl. He was sure something was being discussed before he had arrived which made him wonder. tilting his head, he awaited the others' responses.

OOC:I've not slept in three days XDD

A sigh escaped her lips as Emiko looked at Altair; she didn't know of him personally, but she certainly knew of his reputation. He flirted with women frequently and, even if he did get involved with them, he did not stay with them for that long. "Yeah...no, I don't think so," Emiko said to him; she didn't know why, but she felt a tad protective of the other female. "I think your methods would just mentally scar the girl, and she certainly doesn't need that." Emiko said to him.

((Mine's short too...mostly 'cause I feel horrible))

Kohana's eyes drifted between Altair and Emiko. She knew that Altair was the lieutenant of the fourth, but she had never spoken to him. She also didn't know anything about him, and it made her wonder what exactly he had in mind that had made Emiko respond how she did.

I don't like him. Tomowakana growled in her mind. Kohana could feel his anger rising, and it surprised her. He usually didn't really comment on any other shinigami, so if he was getting angry at this one, then Altair must have something really bad on his mind. Kohana began to feel very uncomfortable as she shifted her weight on her feet, and she remained silent.

Shrugging but quietly, at first altair said nothing. A few seconds later, though, his body began to glow with a dark reishi."Not now! Fuck this is gonna be awkward.." He said this while looking at the others, his body beginning to fluxuate. He sighed, clenching his eyes shut, holding his head with his hands, beginning to shake himself while his body seemed to shrink slowly. The large zanpakuto on his back broke into shards, pulling together reforming a small cute stuffed bunny-rabbit.

The transformation had Altair become the size of a twelve to fifteen year old, his hair much shorter. He still had the pale skin, but with a cuter glow to it. His eyes had become a slightly darker purple, but softer to look into. The clothing he had worn before had become a purple animal cap, with the puce colored lieutenant's badge in the right ear. He also had a large over-coat of purple color with a puce-colored kanji symbol on his right breast. Finishing this look off, he wore dark purple shorts, that were slightly loose but still pretty small. Altair groaned, catching the bunny that fell from mid-air into his arms and he looked at the ground, clutching it to his chest.

What Altair had said before his sudden transformation was certainly an understatement; one minute, he was...well, definitely not what he was the next moment. Before both of their eyes, Altair changed into a young looking version of himself, complete with a bunny rabbit. This feels like such a huge cliche... Emiko couldn't help but think to herself, casting a glance at Kohana to see if she had seen the same thing. After casting said glance at the other female, she returned her gaze to the transformed male and let out a sigh; definitely awkward. "Err, I think what you just said was the understatement of the year. What just happened?" She stated to the man...or rather, boy, as he looked right now.