Byakuren [白蓮], Izaya [臨也]

As of today, the snow has begun to fall. It’s so beautiful; sometimes I lose myself staring out the small window near the far right side of the room through the cracks in the boards covering up the window. Mother has me pull over the blackout curtains at five thirty in the morning, because she says if they are not pulled over, we might be seen... I can only enjoy seeing the celestial snowflakes fall against the light of the moon during the night, but that’s good enough; it truly is my only allure to stay up at night and sleep during the day. A day or so ago, Sir Karel called me an owl, the nerve. I finally asked him why he called me an owl; he didn't feel like answering so I let the small ordeal go. Around one in the afternoon, we had a special dinner. Sir Karel and Miss Alexandria were fortunate enough to bring home fresh bread and meat, and even some ingredients to make desserts. At around one in the morning, I woke up with stomach pains and cold sweat, arising from a rather disturbing nightmare. Ever since we began living here... no, ever since we began hiding here, I’ve been bothered by whispers in the dark, as well as occasional sights that wouldn’t erase from my mind. That aside, I figured it was around one in the morning so I pulled the blackout curtain back slowly to greet the white natural beauty that flitted outside, right past my fingertips, only smudgy glass and air standing in the way. At five thirty, I pushed the blackout curtains to hide the window, going back to sleep with no pain; it seemed like the snow was becoming my medicine.


I can’t live my life out cooped up like this! Today, I lied to my mother and father and told them that I was going to step outside and pick up some long blades of grass in hopes that my boredom would be smothered by weaving the grass into anything I could fathom. After what seemed an eternity of pleading and begging, I got my way; which was strange, my parents were both always against me leaving the very room, let alone step outside. I didn’t probe the chance anymore so I made my way outside through the main entrance of the house as casually as possible, my muscles involuntarily bunched up. I walked around to the back to see a mound of snow collected against the brick wall as curiosity took over. I knelt down into the mud without a second thought and began using my hands to carve into the snow. Like I said a couple weeks ago, I wasn’t born with the best eyesight but it’s tolerable. I leaned back to view my work-of-art, too engulfed in the simplicity to notice voices not too far off. By the time I came to, I saw two men about two or three years over my age walking over in my direction. I froze. After mentally chastising myself to move, my legs regained their strength as I stood up to face in the direction of the two men, stomping my heel casually into my artwork, long blades of grass already held so tightly in my hand, my knuckles were white. Nazi? The bright red band around their bicep held the black swastika strikingly, a solid white circle placed behind the emblem. After being held and questioned by both soldiers, they believed my lies but took them with a grain of salt, clearly seen in my own. I scrambled back inside towards the house, looking over my shoulder to catch the Aryan-looking one with his eyes eerily set on me. I stumbled inside the house, tossed off my shoes and ran inside and upstairs to the room my family was living in. I was silent for the rest of that day, not even bothering to eat if it hadn’t been for my mother and Miss Alexandria threatening to burn you. I only ate a morsel or so then immediately went to the bathroom to wash off my body of the remaining dirt and snow. I stepped out into the room finally and said goodnight to my mother and father, as well as Karel and Alexandria. I quickly fell asleep and that night, for the first time in three years, I didn't look out the window to see the world and its gift of snow; I was too afraid.


It’s been one month since they passed away and since I’ve seen you. I’ll tell you what happened, it’s still so vivid in my head... My mother and father were completely furious with me, because they had to spend money to get me medicine; I had a cold, like today. I clearly remember I didn't go against them for fear of them snatching you up and burning you to ashes. I simply bowed my head and stayed sprawled on my bed the rest of the day until evening. Possibly around six in the evening, I was awoken by my parents to hear them explain they were leaving to go buy medicine and something else I couldn’t comprehend. I was too sleepy to pay any mind to what they were saying then but now their words were as clear as day. I fell back into my slumber and it felt like I woke up two seconds afterward to the sounds of screaming, gunshots, crying, and so many more morbid sounds. Although Sir Karel and Miss Alexandria were German, their house resided in an area housing Jewish people. Completely nervous at hearing so many sickening sounds, I remember stumbling out of bed and rushing over to the door on the floor, pressing my ear to it as closely as possible. All I could hear was Karel and Alexandria shouting rather violently at two more voices that sounded male, everyone sounded frighteningly upset. I stood up and got dressed, cleaning up the room to keep myself preoccupied, eventually realizing my parents weren’t inside the house. A moment after, I remember hearing violent footsteps near the room, hearing the familiar creaking sound of someone pulling down the ladder to get up here. I heard Karel holler the word ‘Run!’ A second after, a gunshot was fired, a loud thud hit the ground, and everything fell silent. For what seemed like an eternity of silence, a shriek ripped apart the torturous silence, footsteps shuffling and the door on their ceiling swung open to my room, seeing Miss Alexandria rush in and throw herself into an embrace onto me. She is such a beautiful Aryan, silvery blond hair with soft waves and ocean blue eyes, laced with long dark eyelashes and an angelic face. I didn’t understand what was happening, but not too long after another gun shot rang out through the house, both myself and Alexandria jumping and gasping in to refrain from screaming. Like a child, I began crying as different thoughts shot through my head like lightning. Where were my parents? Who was shooting? Why were there such terrible sounds outside? After hearing Alexandria’s soft but firm voice quell over my tears and sobs, she explained everything. That night or Kristallnacht [Night of Crystal] as she called it occurred. The name, as she explained to me came from the sight of shattered glass coming from windows, homes, and elsewhere that lined the streets in the wake of the violent pogrom. I felt like I accepted it too willingly, because, I completely understood and believed every word she said.
P.S.; It's been one month since I haven't seen the outside world and its gift of snow; I'm still afraid, Elda.


One month and two days ago, my parents were murdered by the Nazi soldiers on the night called Kristallnacht. Alexandria said some events occurred that even she didn't know, but that my mother was pulled away from my father and thrown against a wall ruthlessly and aimed at with a gun by the Nazi soldiers as some kind of bet to see who'd shoot my mother first. My father heroically lunged in front of my mother and took the bullets that were shot, more men shooting at my parents, killing them both. Ever since then, I've been walking with weights on my limbs and in the darkness. Yesterday, a soldier called out one of the younger ones, she looks about fifteen and they called her name by "Alice". She has raven black hair and dark scarlet eyes, as well as her skin being very pale. She returned back to the bunks at about two hours past midnight with not a scratch on her but her long beautiful hair was cut off. It brushed against her neck now. It has been about thirty five days since I've arrived at Auschwitz and the sight of everyone's state... it's terrible how our brothers could do this to one another, it's inhuman, immoral. I won't be writing in you any longer because I feel they have caught on to me possessing you. As for now... goodbye.


Every day more and more of the people we're housed with are disappearing. Alice explained to me why she never received bruises; she was a vampire. At first I laughed it off as some crude joke and pushed it aside as Alice being herself, always joking and smiling, telling me we'd escape safely. Thinking over the events, I began to believe her. Maybe I was just blindly believing and reaching for the hope that wasn't there, but I felt assured and had some peace of mind with Alice here. Every time she was called out, I could feel my stomach ache and my breathing shorten. After being here for so long, I felt so tired. Although I would always tell the children it would be alright soon and to just listen and not talk back. But, recently, Alice told me her idea. She's been working out an escape plan and with the way she makes it sounds, it might work. But I had doubts; I couldn't leave the children alone. I refused to abandon them in such a moment. Alice, giving a heavy sigh and a shake of the head, explaining no one of these people would die. She simply asked me to have faith in her words, so I did.


It's about five thirty in the morning; I apologize for the smudged handwriting. Alice is fast asleep. She told me it's a myth that vampires don't sleep, their bodies still need to relax, seeing as how they get stressed as well. We're inside a two story house a good amount of miles away from the camp... I'm so scared we're going to be caught that I haven't moved since I dropped to the floor our of exhaustion and passed out. My eyesight has worsened, but I'm not surprised with how the camps were. My hair was cut two years ago and Alice's hair still has yet to grow back more than a few inches. The wind is blistering and our uniforms are thin so I've lost the feeling in my body; I lost it a good amount of house ago, though. - Afraid to leave Alice alone, I managed to stand up and place her on my back since she's a lightweight naturally, I mustered up my strength through will-power and make my way upstairs, crashing on the floor and covering my mouth, landing on the ground first with Alice atop, I almost screamed and dropped her, but my reflexes haven't dulled so much. I'd like to thank you. Thank you for taking care of my picture; it's my most treasured possession aside from you, of course.